Her Family Kept Calling It Babysitting — Until It Took Over Her Weekends
A woman said she finally asked to be paid for watching a relative’s children after years of being treated like the family’s built-in babysitter.
The woman shared the situation on Reddit, explaining that she has helped babysit for family many times before. At first, it sounded like the kind of thing relatives often do for each other. Someone needs help for a few hours, another family member steps in, and everyone moves on.
But over time, the poster said the requests became more frequent and more expected.
What began as occasional babysitting started taking over her free time. She was being asked to watch children on weekends, during the time she would normally use to rest, catch up on her own responsibilities, or simply have a life outside work and family obligations.
The problem was not that she disliked the kids. She did not frame the children as the issue. The issue was the assumption that her time was available because she was family.
Eventually, she decided that if she was going to keep babysitting regularly, she needed to be paid.
That is where the family tension began.
The poster said asking for payment upset her relatives, who seemed to believe babysitting should stay unpaid because they were related. To them, this was family helping family. To her, it had become recurring childcare that required time, energy, and responsibility.
She brought the situation to Reddit in a post titled “AITA for asking to be paid to babysit family”: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1kjgc1k/aita_for_asking_to_be_paid_to_babysit_family/
The emotional conflict centered on a common family expectation: when someone has been helpful before, relatives can start treating that help like an ongoing obligation. The first few times, saying yes may feel kind. After a while, though, the person being asked may realize no one is asking whether the arrangement still works for them.
That seemed to be where the poster found herself. She had given time. She had helped. But the more she helped, the more normal it became for others to expect it.
That can be especially frustrating with childcare because babysitting is not passive. It means being responsible for children’s safety, food, entertainment, behavior, and needs. Even when the kids are easy, the adult watching them cannot just check out. Their time belongs to the children until the parents return.
For the poster, weekends were not empty space waiting to be filled by someone else’s childcare needs. They were her own time. And once babysitting began taking over that time, she wanted the family to acknowledge the cost.
The family’s reaction made her question herself. If everyone around you says you are being selfish for attaching money to a favor, it is easy to wonder if you have gone too far. But from the poster’s side, she was not asking for a gift or trying to profit off a crisis. She was asking to stop being used as free labor.
The word “family” became the pressure point. Her relatives seemed to use it as the reason she should help without pay. But family should also be the reason people are careful not to take advantage. If someone is giving up weekend after weekend to watch children, a loving family should notice the burden instead of acting offended when she finally names it.
The conflict also raised the question of why the responsibility kept falling on her. If the whole family believed unpaid childcare was a family duty, then the whole family could share it. But situations like this often land on the same dependable person again and again until that person burns out.
By asking for payment, the poster changed the arrangement. She was not saying she would never help again. She was saying that regular babysitting needed to be treated like real work.
That is what made the family uncomfortable. The request forced everyone to admit the help had value.
Commenters largely sided with the poster and said she was not wrong for asking to be paid.
Many pointed out that babysitting is work, even when the children are relatives. Commenters said if the family needed her often enough that it was taking over her weekends, then it was no longer an occasional favor.
Several people pushed back on the “family helps family” argument. They said family should not be used as a reason to expect unlimited free labor. If relatives truly valued her, they would care that she was losing her own time.
Others suggested she stop babysitting altogether for a while, especially if the family reacted badly to a reasonable request. Commenters warned that if she kept helping while everyone complained about paying, resentment would only grow.
A common point was that the parents should be responsible for their own childcare costs. If they would have to pay a sitter outside the family, then paying a relative should not be treated as outrageous.
Some commenters said occasional unpaid help is fine when it is freely offered and appreciated. But once help becomes expected, frequent, and guilt-driven, the arrangement changes.
The strongest advice was for the poster to set clear terms before agreeing to babysit again. That could mean a set hourly rate, a limit on how often she is available, or a simple refusal when she needs her weekend back.
By the end of the discussion, Reddit’s message was clear: being family may explain why she helped at first, but it does not obligate her to give up her weekends for free forever.
