Her Coworker Rushed Her Through Every Shift and Refused to Teach Her Anything — Then She Considered Telling Their Boss the Truth

Photo credit: AI-generated image created using ChatGPT. Illustrative only.

Starting a new job is hard enough without feeling like you’re being silently graded every minute. But that’s exactly where one new domiciliary care worker found herself—only a couple of weeks in, already anxious, already second-guessing everything, and suddenly called into a “progress meeting” that turned into something much scarier.

In the original post, she explains that her manager told her there had been “concerning feedback” about her performance. The message was blunt: if they didn’t see improvement, she could be let go. The problem? She believes the coworker she’s mainly paired with has been setting her up to fail.

She thought it was training… until it started feeling like sabotage

She’s been in the role roughly two to three weeks, still very much in the learning phase. Like most new hires, she expected guidance, patience, and a little grace while she got her speed and confidence up.

Instead, the colleague she works with most often seems irritated by her presence. Eye rolls. Sighs. A constant sense that she’s in the way. And it’s not just attitude—she says her coworker repeatedly swoops in and does tasks for her the second she’s not fast enough.

Some tasks are harder for her, and she’s honest about that. She mentions things like trousers and hoists being her “downfall,” the kind of hands-on routines that take time to get smooth. But to her, that’s exactly why she needs to do them—because you don’t learn speed by being pushed aside.

The moment that made it impossible to ignore

The day everything felt especially clear, it happened right in front of a client. She says her coworker physically pushed her out of the way because she was taking longer than her colleague liked. It was the first time the coworker touched her, but it didn’t come out of nowhere.

By then, the pattern was already there: if she wasn’t moving at her coworker’s pace, her coworker would take over. The message was obvious—stop trying, I’ll do it. And in a job where competence is tied to safety and trust, getting treated like a nuisance isn’t just demoralizing. It can start to look like you’re not capable.

What makes it more confusing is that there doesn’t seem to be an actual time crunch. She says they finish visits well before the official end time, which makes the rushing feel less like necessity and more like impatience. In her eyes, her coworker just wants to be done and get home as quickly as possible—no matter what it costs the new person trying to learn.

She tried to speak up, and got iced out

She didn’t go into this expecting to be babied. She tried to communicate in the moment, even offering to take tasks her coworker seemed ready to do. One example she gives: her coworker was about to wash a client, and she asked if she wanted her to do it.

Her coworker didn’t answer. She just ignored the question and started doing it anyway.

Even worse, when she tried a more direct approach—saying in the car, “I am trying really hard”—she says she got nothing back. Just blanked. That kind of cold shoulder can make anyone feel small, but in a brand-new job with real stakes, it’s the kind of silence that sticks in your throat for hours after.

And while she’s trying to stay focused on the work, there’s this looming feeling that her coworker is reporting her. She suspects complaints were already made, and the manager’s warning about “concerning feedback” made it feel like her coworker’s version of events is the one being believed.

Then she worked one shift with someone else—and everything clicked

The part that really solidified her instinct that she isn’t the main issue is what happened when she worked with a different colleague. She already knew this person through her sister, but it wasn’t like they were best friends covering for each other. It was just a different pairing.

And suddenly, the job made more sense.

She says that colleague told her she was “just like a typical new carer,” and she learned more in a single day than she had in three days with the coworker who rushes her. That comparison hit hard, because it suggests something important: she can learn, she can improve, and with the right support, she can do the work.

With the other coworker, she says she hasn’t learned “a single thing.” Not because she isn’t trying, but because she isn’t being allowed to try.

Her anxiety is already high—and this coworker makes it worse

She also shares two things that add another layer to the whole situation: she has ADHD and anxiety. For her, this isn’t a small detail—it’s part of why the dynamic is turning into a spiral.

Working under pressure can already be tough when your brain is juggling a million details. Add a coworker who constantly acts annoyed, tells you to “move,” and sighs when you don’t keep up, and it’s easy to see how that could slow someone down instead of speeding them up.

She admits she gets really anxious around this colleague because she always feels like she’s “not good enough.” That anxiety isn’t just emotional. It shows up in your hands. In your timing. In your ability to think clearly while doing something physical and technical.

Now she’s stuck in a brutal loop: she’s nervous, so she’s slower; she’s slower, so the coworker takes over; the coworker takes over, so she doesn’t learn; she doesn’t learn, so the boss hears she isn’t improving.

She’s deciding whether to tell her boss what’s actually happening

After that meeting where her job was suddenly on the line, she started wondering whether she should tell her manager the truth: that her lack of progress isn’t because she’s lazy or careless, but because she’s been paired with someone who won’t teach her and doesn’t seem to want her there.

She’s not asking for revenge. She’s asking how she’s supposed to get faster and better if she’s never allowed to complete tasks. And after being physically pushed aside in front of a client, it’s not just about training style anymore—it’s about basic respect.

Still, she’s hesitant, because telling the boss could easily escalate things. If her coworker already dislikes her, calling it out might make the workplace even more uncomfortable. And when you’re new and trying to keep your job, “speaking up” can feel like a gamble.

But she’s also watching the clock. She’s only been there a few weeks, and she’s already been warned that she could be let go if she doesn’t improve. At this point, staying silent means accepting that someone else gets to define her performance.

She’s left weighing two scary options: keep her head down and hope it gets better, or be honest with her manager about what’s happening behind the scenes—before the “concerning feedback” turns into a termination. And for a new carer who genuinely wants to learn, that decision isn’t just about office politics. It’s about whether she’ll even get the chance to become good at a job she’s still trying to grow into.