Woman Says Her Roommate’s Boyfriend Was Practically Living There 6 Days a Week — Then She Started Looking for a New Apartment
A woman says she used to consider her roommate one of her best friends, but that friendship started to feel very different once the roommate’s boyfriend became a near-permanent fixture in their apartment.
In a Reddit post, the poster explained that she and her roommate had been living together for more than a year. They had gone to grad school together, graduated around the same time, and had already shared a house with another person from their program before moving into their current two-bedroom, two-bath apartment.
That earlier living situation came with its own warning sign.
According to the poster, their previous roommate had once complained that the same boyfriend was staying over too much. Instead of taking it seriously, the roommate and her boyfriend apparently turned on that person. The poster said the boyfriend took it personally, broke up with her roommate for a while, then eventually got back together with her. After that, the two of them treated the former roommate like she had done something terrible by speaking up.
The poster admitted she regretted not backing up the former roommate at the time. She said the house became toxic, and eventually everyone moved out. The former roommate moved to California, and they had not spoken since.
Now, the same thing seemed to be happening again — only this time, the poster was the one feeling pushed out of her own home.
She said her roommate’s boyfriend was spending about six days a week at their apartment. He would come over after work, eat there, use the TV, sit on the couch, stay the night, and leave in the morning to go to work. The apartment was already much smaller than their old house, so his constant presence changed the whole living situation.
This was not just about a guest sleeping over sometimes. The poster said she was growing so resentful that she had started looking for new apartments.
It did not help that she already disliked him. She described him as sexist and unpleasant to talk to. She also said he had picked fights with friends and coworkers, and had even gotten into a major argument with her boyfriend over basketball tickets after accusing him of scamming him.
The poster was also uncomfortable with how he treated her roommate. She said he judged her roommate’s diet and workout routine and had previously been caught sexting other women. She also did not think her roommate ever went to his apartment, which made her wonder if he even had one at that point.
Still, the poster was nervous about saying anything. She had already watched what happened when the former roommate complained. She worried that if she spoke up, her friendship with her roommate would fall apart the same way.
That left her feeling trapped. She said she felt depressed, isolated, and alone, and hated living in the apartment now. She had asked her roommate if they could talk the next day, but she did not know what to say without setting off the same kind of blowup that happened before.
Commenters mostly told her she was not wrong for being upset. Many pointed out that she agreed to live with one roommate, not with a roommate and a boyfriend who was there nearly every night.
Several people said the boyfriend needed to pay rent and utilities if he was going to be there six days a week. Others said the bigger issue was that he was occupying shared space, using the apartment, and making the poster uncomfortable in a home she also paid for.
A few commenters told her to check the lease, because many rentals have rules about long-term guests. If he was not approved to live there, they warned, the roommate could be putting both of them in a bad position.
Other commenters focused on the emotional side. They said the poster already knew what her roommate and the boyfriend were capable of because they had done it to the previous roommate. Some told her it might be safer and less stressful to move out rather than trying to salvage a friendship that only worked when she stayed quiet.
One commenter said the conversation should focus less on whether she liked the boyfriend and more on the living arrangement. The issue was not really his personality, his relationship, or the old fights. The issue was that the poster no longer felt comfortable in her own apartment.
The Reddit judgment landed in her favor, with many saying she had every right to speak up.
But the situation was messy because it was not a simple roommate dispute. It was a repeat pattern. Someone had complained before, been iced out, and disappeared from the friendship. Now the poster was standing in the same spot, realizing a little too late that the former roommate may have had a point all along.
