Woman says her roommate’s boyfriend practically moved in, used her shampoo, razor, and even deodorant — and the whole thing finally blew up once the landlord got involved
A 21-year-old woman on Reddit said her flat had been mostly peaceful for over a year, right up until her roommate’s boyfriend stopped acting like a guest and basically started living there.
She wrote that she and her 22-year-old roommate shared a two-bedroom flat, split rent and bills evenly, and generally got along. Things changed about six months after the roommate started dating a 24-year-old man. At first he came over once or twice a week. Then, according to her post, he was there constantly — sleeping over five or six nights a week, sometimes entire weeks in a row, while contributing absolutely nothing. She said he was not on the lease, did not pay rent, did not bring groceries, and did not help with anything in the flat.
What finally pushed her over the edge was the shower situation. She wrote that the boyfriend showered constantly, sometimes twice a day or more, and kept using her things every single time. Not just shampoo and conditioner, but also her face wash, her razor, and even her deodorant. At first she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe he had borrowed something once and that was it. But it kept happening. Eventually she got so tired of it that she started carrying all of her toiletries back and forth between the bathroom and her bedroom “like I’m at a camp or something.”
She said she brought it up to her roommate once already, but the roommate shrugged it off and said he probably did not realize. Nothing changed. So she tried again, more directly, and told her roommate she was not comfortable with him showering there constantly when he did not live there, did not contribute to the household, and kept using her personal stuff. She even said she would feel differently if he at least bought his own products or chipped in somehow. Instead of hearing her out, the roommate got irritated and told her he had no money right now, that she was being cold and controlling, and that it was “just hygiene.” That was when the woman finally snapped back that it was not about hygiene at all. It was about boundaries and respect.
Later that same day, after reading the reactions on Reddit, she decided to have one more serious conversation. She told her roommate as calmly as she could that this was not some tiny issue about toiletries. It was months of him basically living there — eating, showering, sleeping over almost every night, and taking over shared space while pretending none of it counted. She said what bothered her just as much as the mooching was the attitude. This man had barely spoken to her in all the time he had been there. Half the time he did not even say hello when he walked in. He just went straight into the flat, into the bathroom, and into her products without asking. She wrote that if either of them had just asked once, she probably would have helped. She even admitted she might have bought him a few basics if they had been honest and respectful about his money problems. But instead, they silently decided it was okay to use her home, her things, and her patience as if she did not get a vote.
When that still went nowhere, she contacted the landlord.
That changed everything. In the next update, she said the landlord responded quickly and told the roommate in “no uncertain terms” that the boyfriend was not allowed to stay more than two nights a week anymore unless he started paying rent. The roommate came home furious, slammed the door, threw down her bag, and demanded to know why she had gone to the landlord. The woman reminded her she had already warned her that she would if nothing changed. The roommate did not care. She said the boyfriend had been staying there because he had nowhere else to go, not because they were trying to take advantage of anyone. Then came the line the woman clearly found ridiculous: was he now supposed to “wander around in the cold at night and freeze to death while you sleep soundly knowing your shampoo’s safe and sound”?
The woman said she was done letting herself be guilt-tripped. She also started locking up more than just toiletries. She bought a small lockable storage box, slid it under her bed, and started securing both her shower products and her snacks because she no longer trusted that either of them would leave her things alone. She made it clear she was not trying to make anyone homeless. She just did not want to keep subsidizing a man who practically lived in her flat while acting like she was the unreasonable one for noticing.
The fight with the roommate got even worse after that, but it also set something else in motion. The landlord ended up mentioning that another flat in the same building, just one floor up, would be available in mid-July. Same basic layout, same rent, but with a slightly nicer kitchen and better view. He offered her first viewing because she had always paid on time and had been a reliable tenant. She was stunned. She viewed it, loved it, and realized the timing lined up perfectly with a friend she had known since sixth form who also needed a place. The two of them signed the lease together and were set to get the keys on July 17, while her current tenancy would end July 31. That gave her two weeks of overlap to move slowly and get out without a meltdown. She also said the landlord agreed to roll over her deposit into the new place as long as the old flat passed inspection, which she described as a lifesaver.
Five months later, she came back with a final update. By then she had moved into the new flat upstairs with her friend and said life was “nothing short of amazing.” Bills were split on time, boundaries were respected, and no one was fighting over guests, groceries, or whose stuff was being used. As for the old roommate and the boyfriend, they did not last. She later heard through a mutual friend that they broke up not long after. And the boyfriend, according to the update, was eventually arrested along with others in a cocaine supply case. She said the news shocked her, but also somehow did not. The old roommate had moved away completely and blocked her on Instagram. The woman sounded more relieved than anything else. The whole mess was over, and she was finally out of it.
