Woman Says Her Sister Wants Her Kids Included in Vacation Plans That Were Never Meant for Them

A woman said she tried not to get pulled into her sister’s marriage drama again, but a conversation about vacation plans revealed just how tense things had become inside the family.

The woman shared an update on Reddit after previously posting about her sister, who did not want to take time off work to vacation with her husband and children but also did not want her husband taking the kids without her. The original issue had already put the poster in an awkward position. Her brother-in-law wanted to make memories with the children. Her sister did not want to go. But she also did not want the rest of them to go without her.

Then the situation took an even stranger turn.

According to the poster, she had recently returned from a short trip and stopped by her sister’s house to drop off souvenirs for her nephews. While she was there, her brother-in-law started talking about an upcoming work trip. He wished his wife would go with him, but she would not take time off work.

The poster said she tried to stay neutral. She responded with vague comments because she did not want to get involved again. But the conversation kept going.

Her brother-in-law then told her about her sister’s new interest connected to work: horseback riding. The sister had started working part-time and unpaid for a family friend on a farm. She described herself as an “emotional support human” for the animals, according to the poster. She had started the job after years as a stay-at-home mom, even though she had a law degree and had never practiced law.

Now, the brother-in-law said, she wanted a horse.

Not just any horse, either. She was planning to travel to Europe with the family friend to buy one, and the cost to import it would be at least $40,000.

The poster was stunned.

What made the situation harder to understand was the contrast. Her sister would not take time off to travel with her husband and children. She would not let her husband take the children on vacation without her. But she was willing to go to Europe to buy a horse.

Her brother-in-law had apparently tried to turn the Europe trip into something the whole family could enjoy. He suggested they all go, she pick out the horse, and then they stay longer to explore together. The sister refused, saying she did not want to worry about the kids while traveling, the children might complicate the trip, and they could spook the horses.

So he suggested another compromise: he and the kids could meet her there after she chose the horse, and they could extend the trip from there.

She refused that too, saying she would have to miss work.

The poster said her brother-in-law was clearly upset and frustrated. She suggested therapy, but he told her they were already in therapy.

The issue came to a head at a family gathering soon after. The sister was excitedly talking about the upcoming Europe trip and the horses she planned to look at. Their mother asked how the husband felt about the whole thing.

The sister responded that she had decided to stop taking his feelings into account.

That comment changed the mood immediately.

Their mother pushed back, saying that was not a good attitude to have toward a husband, especially one who paid for everything she wanted. The sister said this trip and the horse were something she needed because she was overwhelmed and stressed.

Their mother did not accept that explanation. According to the poster, she raised her voice and pointed out that the sister had a housekeeper, a nanny, no money worries, a husband who was an active father, and a part-time unpaid job that did not seem physically or mentally demanding. The mother said all she ever heard were complaints about how hard the sister’s life was.

Then the argument exploded.

The sister became angry, and both women started yelling. Thankfully, the children were outside with their father, because the poster said her sister then admitted she regretted having children and said they had ruined her life.

That shocked the poster. She described the children as smart, funny, well-behaved, mostly self-sufficient, and wonderful kids. She also could not understand why someone who said she regretted having children would also refuse to let their father take them on vacation without her. If she wanted space, that would seem like the perfect opportunity.

Instead, the sister seemed determined to control what everyone else could do.

The fight ended when the sister accused their mother of being a narcissist and said it was her fault she was this way. Their mother told her to leave the property.

On the way out, the sister turned on the poster too, accusing her of failing to defend her and saying she was just as bad as their mother.

The poster shared the full update in a Reddit post titled “AITA for suggesting my sister let her husband take the kids on vacation”: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1n4gy7i/update_aita_for_suggesting_my_sister_let_her/

By the end of the post, the woman was stuck with a hard question. She did not want to get involved in her sister’s marriage. But after hearing her sister say she regretted having children and that they had ruined her life, she wondered whether she should tell her brother-in-law.

The emotional weight of the story came from the children being caught in the middle. The sister did not want to take family trips. She did not want her husband and children to make memories without her. She did not want the children involved in her Europe trip. And then she said something about them that, if heard by the wrong person, could deeply wound them.

The poster did not want drama. But staying silent could also feel wrong if the children’s father did not know how serious his wife’s resentment had become.

That left her in an impossible position: protect herself from the family fight, or warn the person who may need to know what was said.

Commenters were overwhelmingly alarmed by the sister’s behavior.

Many said the brother-in-law should be told what she said about the children. Several argued that if a parent admits they regret having kids and feels they ruined her life, the other parent deserves to know, especially if they are already in therapy and trying to understand what is happening in the marriage.

Others focused on the control issue. Commenters said the sister refusing to travel with her husband and children while also refusing to let them travel without her was unfair to the kids. In their view, she was blocking them from happy experiences because she did not want to participate and did not want them enjoying it without her.

Several commenters were suspicious of the unpaid farm job, the sudden horse interest, and the expensive Europe trip. Some speculated about motives, though the article does not need to repeat every accusation Reddit made. The broader point was that many readers thought the situation looked strange and deserved closer attention from the husband.

Others said the poster was right not to want to get dragged into the marriage, but this had moved beyond ordinary couple drama. Once the sister said something so serious about the children, commenters felt the brother-in-law needed the information so he could protect them emotionally.

A few people noted that the sister may be struggling with something deeper and needs professional help. But even those commenters generally agreed that struggling does not give someone the right to control her husband and children, block their vacations, and then blame everyone else when challenged.

The strongest advice was for the poster to speak privately and calmly to her brother-in-law, not as gossip, but as a heads-up. He did not need every family insult repeated. He did need to know that his wife had openly said the children ruined her life.

By the end of the discussion, Reddit’s message was clear: staying out of family drama is usually wise, but when children may be emotionally affected, silence can start to feel like its own choice.