Woman Says Her Much Older Coworker Missed His Train to Sit With Her — Then Asked Her Out After Work
A 25-year-old retail worker says she used to think her much older coworker was simply friendly. Then his compliments got more frequent, he started hovering around her more at work, and one night after closing, he purposely missed his train so he could keep talking to her.
She explained in a Reddit post that she works in retail with a wide range of coworkers. One of them, a man around 45, had often complimented her and said she looked nice. He had also given her small gifts before, including a cupcake the week after her birthday.
At first, she did not think much of it.
The compliments and small gestures seemed friendly enough, and she tried to take them that way. Plenty of coworkers are warm, chatty, or thoughtful without meaning anything deeper. She did not immediately assume his attention was romantic or inappropriate.
But a few weeks before she posted, the tone started changing.
He began complimenting her more often. He stood around her more at work. He repeatedly told her how much he loved working with her. That kind of attention can feel flattering in small doses, but when it comes from someone much older and starts happening often, it can also begin to feel like pressure.
Then came the train incident.
After a closing shift, the woman was waiting for her train. She was tired from work and wanted to sit quietly and read her book. The coworker sat down next to her while waiting for his own train. He had apparently gone to a local bar after his shift ended a few hours earlier, and she could smell alcohol on his breath.
That alone made her uncomfortable.
She was off work. It was late. She was tired. She was trying to decompress. And now a coworker who had already been giving her more attention than she wanted was sitting close beside her after drinking.
Then he missed his train on purpose.
According to the woman, he told her he could go home then, or he could talk to her for a while, and talking to her sounded a lot better.
The next train would not come for another hour.
That meant he chose to stay there with her instead of leaving, even though she had not asked him to. He started telling her again that the best part of his job was getting to see her and how much he loved seeing her every day.
She tried not to engage too much. She just wanted her train to get there faster.
That kind of situation can be hard to handle because nothing technically explosive happened. He did not scream. He did not threaten her. He did not block her from leaving. But he did create an uncomfortable one-on-one moment outside work, after alcohol, late at night, while she was clearly not looking for a deep conversation.
The next day, or shortly after, he asked if he could talk to her after her shift.
She knew immediately where it was probably going.
After she clocked out, she went to where he was, and he brought up the train conversation. He said it had been really great talking to her the other day and asked if she wanted to get together sometime.
She said she would rather not hang out with him outside work, but thanked him for asking.
To his credit, he did not lash out. He told her she was an amazing girl and said he could not say he was not disappointed, but he understood.
That answer was polite. But the woman was still uncomfortable.
She said he is old enough to be her dad, and after the compliments, gifts, lingering, train situation, and invitation, she now felt uneasy around him. She wondered if she was overreacting because he had technically accepted the rejection. But she also could not unfeel the discomfort of knowing a coworker had been building toward this and now still had to work around her.
That is the workplace part people sometimes forget. Asking someone out and accepting no may end the romantic question, but the person who said no still has to return to work and wonder if things will be awkward. She has to wonder if the compliments will stop, if he will act hurt, if he will avoid her, or if he will keep pushing in smaller ways.
At the time of the post, nothing suggested he had retaliated or refused to accept the answer. But the woman’s discomfort made sense. The train incident had already pushed the situation beyond a simple, casual ask.
She was not wrong for feeling weird about a much older coworker who missed his train just to spend another hour talking to her after she wanted quiet.
Commenters were divided, though many agreed she was allowed to feel uncomfortable.
Some commenters said he asked, she declined, and he accepted the answer politely. From that view, the situation should only become a bigger issue if he keeps pushing, treats her differently, or retaliates at work.
Others were much more bothered by the train incident. They said missing his train on purpose to sit with a much younger coworker after drinking felt invasive, especially because she was tired and clearly not looking for more conversation.
Several commenters suggested documenting what happened in case things changed later. One person recommended writing down the details in an email to herself so there would be a timestamp if he started acting badly after the rejection.
A lot of people focused on the age gap and workplace setting. Some said a 45-year-old asking out a 25-year-old coworker is not automatically harassment, but it can still feel uncomfortable, especially after weeks of extra attention.
The strongest practical advice was to keep interactions polite but professional and watch what he does next. If he accepts the no and backs off, the issue may end there. If he keeps pursuing her or makes work uncomfortable, then it becomes something to bring to a manager.
