Woman says her husband wanted to father another woman’s child while staying married — and the marriage collapsed almost immediately once she learned the truth
A woman on Reddit said a dinner conversation with her husband turned into one of the worst nights of her life when he casually told her that a longtime female friend wanted him to help her have a baby.
At first, she thought he meant as a sperm donor. Even that made her uneasy, but she tried to stay calm and hear him out. Then he explained what he really meant. According to her post, the woman did not just want sperm. She wanted him to be involved as the child’s actual father figure and take an active role in the child’s life. That was when the whole thing started feeling much darker to her, especially because he had a romantic and sexual history with this woman.
She wrote that she asked the obvious questions. Would it not be emotionally complicated to have a child with another woman and then split his life between that child and his marriage? Would it not create a separate, intimate bond with someone he had already dated? Her husband’s response only made things worse. He told her she was overreacting, called her insecure, and said this had nothing to do with their relationship. He framed it as his own personal opportunity to become a father and acted as if she should simply accept it.
What cut even deeper was the reason he gave for why he wanted to do it. She wrote that earlier in their relationship she had told him she might have fertility problems in the future, though she had never even seen a specialist and they were not trying for children yet. He used that against her. According to the post, he said that if she turned out not to be able to have kids, he did not want to miss his chance at fatherhood now. She said that made her feel blindsided, written off, and suddenly inadequate over something that was still uncertain and years away from being tested.
In the original post, she sounded shaken enough that she was still trying to reality-check herself. She kept asking whether she was being selfish, whether there was some version of this arrangement that could possibly work, and whether she was reacting badly for the wrong reasons. But Reddit commenters immediately told her the same thing: this was not a hobby or some harmless favor. It was another family unit he was proposing to build with a woman he used to sleep with, while expecting his wife to live around it.
Eleven days later, she came back with the update that ended the whole debate. She wrote that everyone had been right. He was cheating. She contacted the other woman behind his back and learned the truth directly from her. The marriage was over, and divorce was already happening. She wrote that looking back at her first post made her cringe because she could not believe how hard she had worked to explain away something that ugly. The story that began with him asking to be another woman’s “co-parent” ended exactly where many commenters suspected it would: he was not proposing some strange future arrangement. He was already involved with her.
