10 Holiday Etiquette Rules That Are Officially Outdated

Holiday traditions and etiquette rules have always been a big part of celebrating the season, but let’s be honest—not everything from the past fits how we live today. Some of those “rules” feel more like chores now, and who has time for that?

The truth is, many old-school traditions just don’t make sense for modern families anymore. People are busier, budgets are tighter, and what matters most has shifted. The focus is less about following formalities and more about spending time with loved ones in ways that feel meaningful and manageable.

Let’s look at a few of those traditional rules that don’t need to stick around. You might be surprised how much simpler and more enjoyable the holidays can be when you let some of them go.

Gifts for Everyone Aren’t Required

There was a time when holiday gifting meant buying something for every relative, neighbor, and coworker you could think of. These days, that’s less of an expectation and more of a recipe for burnout. With budgets tight and time even tighter, fewer people feel the need to exchange gifts with every single person they know.

Instead, focus on meaningful giving. Secret Santa exchanges, homemade treats, or donating to a shared cause are great ways to celebrate without going overboard. Most people are relieved to skip the “obligatory” gift exchange and just enjoy time together.

Homemade Food Isn’t a Must

Homemade dishes have always been the heart of holiday meals, but let’s face it—not everyone has the time or desire to make everything from scratch. Store-bought options are perfectly acceptable these days, especially when it comes to desserts, rolls, or appetizers. A beautifully plated pie from the bakery tastes just as good as one you spent hours on.

If homemade cooking is your thing, great! But there’s no shame in picking up something pre-made.

Decorating Timelines Are Flexible Now

Remember when holiday decorations had a strict schedule? First Thanksgiving, then Christmas? Those days are fading. These days, many families are swapping tradition for convenience, decorating earlier to soak in every bit of the season. With busy schedules and the holidays seeming to fly by, starting earlier just feels easier and more fun.

If you’re itching to put up that tree as soon as Halloween wraps up, go for it. Your home, your timeline.

Sharing the Kitchen is the Norm

Gone are the days when the host was expected to handle every dish and detail alone. These days, it’s perfectly fine—even expected—to let your guests contribute to the meal. Potluck-style gatherings or guests pitching in with sides and desserts make things easier on the host and add variety to the table.

Still, it’s always a good idea to coordinate with the host. Offering to bring a dish you know well or asking what’s needed shows thoughtfulness and keeps the meal cohesive.

Outdated Family Traditions Can Be Updated

Family traditions can be great, but not every ritual stands the test of time. As families grow and dynamics change, it’s natural to rethink certain customs. Traditions should bring joy, not stress or obligation, and it’s okay to adjust or let go of ones that no longer fit.

If a tradition feels outdated or impractical, discuss it with loved ones. Maybe it’s about tweaking a time-consuming activity or refreshing the menu. The goal is to strike a balance between honoring the past and making the holidays fun for everyone involved.

Assigned Seats Are Out

Formal seating charts used to be the gold standard at holiday dinners, but now? It’s all about keeping things easy and fun. Open seating gives guests the freedom to mingle, sit with who they want, and keep the vibe casual. Instead of placing name cards on the table, just let everyone find their own spot. It takes the pressure off the host and makes for a more relaxed gathering.

If you love structure, you can always offer a few suggestions for seating without locking people into specific spots. This way, you keep the flow flexible while making sure there’s enough room for everyone to enjoy their meal comfortably.

Rethinking the Kids’ Table

The kids’ table is either a haven for cousins to catch up or a dreaded exile. But these days, sticking the younger crowd at a separate table isn’t always necessary. Mixing all generations together can lead to some sweet, shared memories. Plus, it’s a way for kids to learn from adults and feel included.

If you’re set on keeping a kids’ table, make it fun. Add crayons, a craft project, or even a mini dessert station to keep them entertained. But consider how it’s set up—nobody in their 20s wants to get roped into being the de facto babysitter all night.

Fine China Is Optional

Once upon a time, pulling out your best china for the holidays was non-negotiable. These days, it’s totally okay to skip the fancy dishes. Whether you’re using heirloom plates or sturdy paper ones, what matters is that everyone’s enjoying themselves—and the food.

If you’re going the disposable route, pick high-quality options that can handle a loaded plate without buckling.

Holiday Dress Codes Are Looser

Dressing up for the holidays doesn’t mean pulling out a three-piece suit or evening gown anymore. These days, comfort takes the lead. Think cozy sweaters or smart casual outfits instead of stiff formalwear. People want to feel good and have fun—not worry about perfectly matching a tie to their socks.

That said, don’t completely ignore the invitation. If the host hints at a theme or specific attire, follow it. Being comfortable doesn’t mean forgetting basic etiquette or showing up underdressed.

Holiday Cards Are Optional

If you’re not sending out holiday cards this year, you’re in good company. With texts, emails, and e-cards making it so easy to connect, fewer people are sticking to the old-school tradition. And that’s okay—it’s all about what works for you.

If you love the process of picking out cards and writing personal notes, go for it. But if it feels like an added stress, feel free to skip it or find another way to send your wishes.