Man says he lied about “extra work” so he could go golfing — and two years later, he says losing his fiancée finally taught him what he had dumped on her
A Reddit user says the relationship did not blow up because of one dramatic betrayal. It ended because he kept checking out while his fiancée carried nearly everything else. In the original post, he wrote that his fiancée’s parental leave had ended about six months earlier, and once she went back to work, he told her he was taking on extra freelance work to help. He later admitted that was a lie. He said he was really spending that time golfing, even while complaining about how chaotic life at home had become. He wrote that when she found out, she left, and by the time he posted on March 31, 2024, she had officially moved the last of her things out.
What gave the post its sting was how plainly he blamed himself. He said their son had just turned 2, that they would now alternate weeks with him, and that he would be receiving child support. He did not try to frame himself as misunderstood. He wrote that he had not liked the chaos that came with normal family life after leave ended, and instead of helping, he “did nothing.” In the comments around the BORU repost, readers quickly locked onto what he left unsaid in the original post: this was not just a tired new-parent story. It was a man admitting he stepped away while his partner handled the reality.
The update, posted two years later on April 2, 2026, made the picture harsher. He said their son has cerebral palsy and that parenting him every other week is exhausting, chaotic, and nonstop in a way he clearly had not understood when he was still living with his fiancée. He said his ex makes single parenting look effortless, but now believes that is partly because life actually became easier for her once he was gone. He wrote that they are civil now and only really talk about their son, and that hearing her say she found it easier not having him around was brutal, but true.
He also said the last two years changed his own life in practical ways. He stopped freelancing, got a job with the provincial government, and started therapy. In the update, he admitted that when he first posted, some people messaged him trying to validate him and call his ex ugly names, and he actually let that make him feel justified for a while. Two years later, he said he sees that reaction as immature and says therapy forced him to grow up. The tone of the update was not really about winning anyone back. It was about finally understanding the work he had refused to see when she was still standing beside him.
What makes the story land is how little mystery there is by the end. There was no secret affair, no shocking twist, no grand betrayal waiting in the wings. It was a man who lied about work so he could keep doing what he wanted, while the woman beside him handled a demanding home life, a child with extra needs, and the bills. Then he lost the relationship, got a front-row seat to the labor he had skipped, and had to live with the version of himself that finally came into focus. The Reddit compilation is here.
What do you think — was the golfing lie the real dealbreaker, or had the relationship already been breaking under the weight of everything she was carrying alone?
